Does the Philippines have a future in a technology-driven world and will Filipinos survive in it?

Dear Filipino,

As someone who has worked in Silicon Valley and who researches on and lectures about IT issues, I sometimes wonder what the future holds for the Philippines. It seems like we are only supplying resources (e.g., IT skilled labor) but not really in the forefront and "making things happen," so to speak.

So my question is: Do you think Filipinos will survive in an increasingly high-tech and competitive world?

Nagmamahal,
The Filipina

P.S. By the way, I like love your new logo, too. But how come MuQ is in the logo while I’m not? Sob-sob-sob. :-(

To My Funny Brown Pinay,

First, I’m glad you like the new logo/banner.

Secondly, I’m really sorry that you’re not in the picture, but don’t you think it would look kinda silly if I were riding you instead of MuQ?

Thirdly, I feel bad not answering a lot of pending questions from readers, but I’m really super glad that you asked your question because it's of the kind I really want to write about.  Because if there’s one thing I am absolutely sure, it’s that Filipinos WILL survive. In fact, not only will Filipinos survive, we are on track to conquer the world!  Hah!

Yup, you heard that right! But don’t take my word for it – take instead the word of the former Secretary of Finance, Roberto de Ocampo, who, thanks to a reader who alerted me about it, has recently written about how Filipinos are really “The Chosen People.”

Consider that, according to some researchers, “in order for a culture to maintain itself for more than 25 years, there must be a fertility rate of 2.11 children per family. With anything less, the culture will decline. Historically, no culture has ever reversed a 1.9 fertility rate.”

The 2011 fertility rate estimate for Spain is 1.47, Italy 1.39, UK 1.91, France 1.96 and Germany 1.41, to name a select few. The average fertility rate of all Western Europe is about 1.5. In short, these nations are either on are perilously close to what population experts call an irreversible demographic decline. To put it more starkly, for example, by 2020 (or just nine years from now) more than half of all births in a country like, say, the Netherlands (1.66 fertility rate) will be of non-European Dutch origin. Furthermore, with the birth rate dropping below replacement, the population of such countries ages and the problems facing an aging population are numerous and startling enough to deserve a separate treatise.

Western Europe is not the only one experiencing this phenomenon. The US fertility rate is, at 2.0, just below replacement and Japan is at a worrisome level of 1.2. For Japan, this means a population decline of about 60 million in the next 30 years and an aging population that will have one out of every five Japanese at least 70 years old by 2020.

However, with the exception of Japan, the overall populations of the above-mentioned countries are not declining. The overwhelming reason for that is immigration (to which Japan is by comparison with others, still somewhat resistant). Guess who comprise one of the larger immigrant populations. Yes, dear—Filipinos!

De Ocampo concludes:

Now we have begun to creep into the world’s bloodlines. The 2010 World Series winning pitcher Tim Lincecum, 2011 best supporting actress Oscar nominee Hailee Steinfeld, head coach Erik Spoelstra of the Miami Heat, and R&B star Bruno Mars are all Fil-Ams. It may only be a matter of time before nearly every race on earth has some Filipino blood.

In other words, if you think all these advanced countries are going to go high-tech, Filipinos will at least be tagging along for the ride!

But actually, the truth is, if we play our cards right, we’re not just going to tag along – we can make things happen too, and to a certain extent, we have. In fact, we are really in the position to design our own “ride” – literally!

Now, what do I mean by that?

Well, what I mean is that we have the right ingredients already in place. We have, as you mentioned, the skilled laborers; we have creativity; and, believe it or not, we have years of experience in the transportation field too.

Let’s talk about these ingredients one by one.

First, the skilled laborers.

Many people think of the Philippines as this low-tech country exporting nothing but tropical fruits and basic natural commodities. But in fact, electronics exports accounted for a whopping 61% of the country’s merchandise exports in 2010 which totaled $31 billion. Of that figure, semiconductors comprised 71%!

And Filipinos are not just at the bottom of the high-tech totem pole either, for Silicon Valley has several Filipinos who have achieved substantial success in the field. Dado Banatao, of course, is just one of the more well-known figures, having co-founded Mostron, Chips & Technologies (acquired later by Intel), and S3 Graphics.

All these means, of course, that we have the knowledge capital.  And I strongly believe we also have the creative capital, which, as mentioned earlier, is the second ingredient. 

Kenneth Cobonpue's Phoenix
(Source: TopGear Blog)

In fact, just a few days ago, I read the Inquirer article about Kenneth Cobonpue, a well-known Filipino furniture designer. Apparently, he just outdid himself and designed “Phoenix” – a concept car made out of bamboo, rattan, steel and carbon fiber -- which has drawn raves in a Milan exhibit entitled “Imagination and Innovation.” I saw the picture and it looks awesome – indeed, “a bird posed to take flight.”

What I didn’t like about the Inquirer article is the lead sentence which says in part that “Cobonpue has designed what must be the first and only bamboo and rattan car in the world.”

Why?

Because it’s not true! And this brings me to the last ingredient I earlier mentioned: years of experience.

Actually, the honor of “first and only” bamboo ride rightly belongs to the – note the following adjective closely – out-of-school youth and the former mayor of the remote municipality of Tabontabon, Leyte who actually manufactured public taxis made out of bamboo!

Want a ride aboard the bamboo taxi of Tabontabon, Leyte?

And if you think it’s just superficially bamboo, you’re wrong: It’s 90% bamboo!

But wait, there’s more: According to John Voelker, Senior Editor of GreenCarReports.com:

The ECO taxis built by Tabontabon Organic Transport Industry [TOTI] come in two sizes: ECO1 seats 20, whereas ECO2 carries eight passengers. Each is said to run for eight hours on a gallon of biodiesel, which in this case is derived from coconut oil.

Did you read that? The thing actually runs on biodiesel! How about that, my dear Pinay?
Honestly, I was floored when I first read about it on Fast Company. I couldn’t believe it because Tabontabon, Leyte does not exactly exude high-tech. In fact, it’s a poor farming town and is considered a fifth-class municipality by Philippine standards!

I said though that the third ingredient is years of experience. Well, these ECO taxis were built in 2009, so a couple of years do not exactly years of experience make.

But by years of experience, I am referring also to our decades of churning out our very colorful jeepneys (a portmanteau of "jeep" and "jitney") which started when the American forces left us with hundreds of surplus jeeps used during the Second World War. We stripped them, elongated them, re-roofed them and made them culturally our own.  That should count for something, right?


FAAIE's enviable jeepney: The Ambassador

As you probably know also, the jeepney used to be notorious as a smoke-belcher, but it has since evolved over the years. Nowadays, there’s even a lot of interest in making them more environmentally friendly and high-tech by making them electric-powered. You better believe it -- e-jeepney is on the way!

In sum, I want to emphasize that we do have the ingredients to not just survive but to thrive in an increasingly high-tech world. All we need now is a cook, a really good chef.  And I hope purpose-driven businessmen will step forward to play that role. Additionally, I hope the government will also step up and at least play the role of sous-chef.  We really need them to up their game big time.

Because believe me, I strongly think that demand for Philippine-made rides will increase, especially from Pinoys abroad because, at least Stateside, I am really sensing a growing pride about their ethnic background among Filipino-Americans. For instance, the Filipino-American Association of the Inland Northwest, which is involved in various humanitarian and socio-cultural activities, has bought a club jeepney. So as a group, they now roll and roar aboard the machine they proudly call The Ambassador.

Good for them! And honestly, I envy them because I too want to roll with one -- and because MuQ has been wanting a break from carrying my heavy bum bum.  What do you think I should call it? (I meant the jeepney, not my bum bum.)

Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.

Are Filipinos becoming the newest heartthrobs in the US of A?

Dear Filipino,

Big MuQ, TF's sidekick.

Did you see that HuffPo piece about Asians, including many Filipinos who were specifically named in the article, turning into America's newest heartthrobs? 

Sigh. I wonder when it's going to be my turn...

Wishing,
MuQ


Dear MuQ,

Keep dreaming, brother!  Keep dreaming -- nothing wrong with that at all!

Yes, I read it several days ago and I found it really fascinating.  I actually wanted to write about it but you weren't around to ask the planted question as my sidekick! Where were you anyway? (Okay, okay -- in fairness, I'm just making you my scapecarabao; I've been really too busy lately to do much writing.)

As I said, it was a fascinating article and I don't really know what to make of it.  I'm sure social scientists, and moreso the casual observers, would have tons to say about the article, or even just this paragraph alone:

Just when we start to feel envious about the Whiz Kids' superior academic and virtuosic abilities, we quickly console ourselves that the price they pay is social awkwardness and having no fun. Asian Whiz Kids and their Tiger Moms surely abound. But frankly, this model is rather old. The newer, more interesting strand of Asian American is... the Heartthrob Asian.

"We"?  Who's "we" in the article -- the white dudes?  And then, the article continues:

You may have seen cool Asians on MTV's America's Best Dance Crew and Fox's So You Think You Can Dance in dance crews such as JabbaWockeeZ, Kaba Modern, and SoReal Cru. Justin Bieber's backup band is the Filipino American R & B group Legaci. Sam Tsui, a Chinese American singer/pianist/songwriter and student at Yale who's amassed over 85 million views on YouTube, appeared on Oprah and ABC World News. 21-year-old Filipino American singer/guitarist Joseph Vincent Encarmacion appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show.

Iyaz gave a shoutout on a Youtube video to 21-year-old Filipino American AJ Rafael and friends for covering his Billboard hit "Replay." And of course, there's Bruno Mars who's half Filipino. Harry Shum Jr. of League of Extraordinary Dancers is on Glee. In January, Billboard created a new chart for emerging artists in social media, which was topped by Traphik, a Thai American rapper, and was peppered with Asian Americans.

21-year-old Filipino American guitarist/pianist/singer and YouTube sensation AJ Rafael from Moreno Valley, Calif. received over 50 million views on YouTube; had become 29th most subscribed musician of all time; has over 11 million plays on MySpace; and when he came out with his EP on iTunes album charts, he debuted at 115. (This was on his own, without labels and millions to back him.) His iTunes sales pays his bills.

Talented and charismatic, Rafael performs regularly to packed concerts of screaming teens who know him from YouTube. Last summer, he toured Hawaii, Sydney, Melbourne, and Toronto.

The article's quite long and Filipino names are sprinkled all over it -- and they're new names too and not the more known ones like Arnel Pineda and the like. The article even opened with the story of 10-year old Filipino-Canadian Maria Aragon who just sang a duet with Lady Gaga in her Toronto concert.

The cool dudes of the Far East Movement.

And the other groups mentioned in the article, aside from Legaci, also have Filipino members -- including the most successful Asian American group, Far East Movement (also known as FM), which managed to break into the mainstream pop scene with the single, "Like a G6," which reached #1 in iTunes and Billboard Hot 100 charts. FM's DJ Virman is the only Filipino American but the rest of the group are "adopted Filipinos," at least food-wise.

Pretty amazing, no?  Considering a Jewish blogger, Ilana Angel, had also earlier gushed over Manny Pacquiao, her new "celebrity crush" (her words, not mine), maybe there really is a trend here. 

So who knows?  Maybe soon, you, MuQ, are going to be the next celebrity and buffalos from the American plains will soon be rampaging to get close to you!

MuQ:  Cool! Can't wait! But what took Americans so long to recognize our -- ahem! -- coolness and good looks?

"I love dogs too!  Wanna exchange recipes?"

I know -- makes you wonder, right?

But if you have forgotten your history, allow me to remind you.

After the Americans colonized the Philippines a little over a century ago, they had to showcase their newest subjects in a grand manner.  And what better way than to do so at the 1904 World's Fair held in St. Louis, Missouri?

According to Virgilio R. Pilapil of the Filipino American National Historical Society, "[t]he St. Louis World's Fair was the grandest of all Fairs and the Philippine Exhibit took the honor of being the largest and most popular one at this Fair."

And guess why? Because we were all supposedly head-hunting savages! And we ate dogs -- yum yum!

(Hmmm...I wonder what The Filipina is preparing for dinner tonight -- Adobong Bulldog, Great Dane stuffed with Kangkong, or the usual Chihuahua Curry?)

Oh, sorry, I was daydreaming about food again. Where was I? Yes, the history behind our coolness, of course!

Going back to the St. Louis Fair, the Igorot Village, in particular, was a huge hit because the Igorot appetite for dogs was supposedly insatiable, this despite the fact that Igorots ate dogs only occasionally and for ceremonial purposes. But there was no shock value there, so they were asked to butcher dogs and eat them daily.  And Pilapil adds:

The city of St. Louis provided them a supply of dogs at the agreed amount of 20 dogs a week, but this did not appear to be sufficient, as they had also encouraged local people to bring them dogs which they bought to supplement their daily needs.

So, as you can see, Filipinos used to be just "objects of curiosity" in 1904, to put it mildly, to be fed with dogs.  But fast forward to today, and if you believe HuffPo's article, hey, guess what?  We've now become "objects of desire" -- or at least, our Filipino music stars are.

Justice Tani, The Filipino's
newest celebrity crush.

Personally, I'm not going to be complaining, brother.  And neither should you.

But if you ask me, my newest "celebrity crush," to borrow Ilana's term, is the country's first Filipino chief of a State Supreme Court, Madame Chief Justice Tani Cantil-Sakauye of the California Supreme Court. 

Believe me, bro: She's pretty and she's smart! (I don't want to be accused of objectifying women, but I read a lot of comments on articles when news of her nomination broke last year and I happen to agree with many commenters: She's hot!)

But while her success story is truly inspiring, her parents' story is even moreso, for they were the ones who toiled the sugar cane and pineapple farms of Hawaii as well as the fields of California's Central Valley so she could get her education.

So here, I'll join you in dreaming: I hope that someday I'll find myself fortunate enough to be arguing a case in the august chamber of the Court with Chief Justice Tani presiding.  I'm sure my knees will be quivering, especially if she flashes me her signature smile.  And I know I better be prepared because I sure won't like her smile turning into something scary. Ay yay yay!

And MuQ, I expect you to be there to give me moral support -- okay? -- even if you, my fictive water buffalo, are already being revered as The Buffalo Gigolo.

Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.

Economy-wise, where is the Philippines in the US map?

Dear Filipino,

How's the Philippine economy like compared to the US?

Thanks,
Bulakbol

Dear Bulakbol,

In the field of information science, there is a hierarchical model, aptly but uncreatively called DIKW, which is depicted as a pyramid.  In this acronymally termed pyramid, data is found at the base, followed by information, then knowledge, and finally, at the apex, wisdom.

How do people in this academic field differentiate these concepts?

Practitioners generally define data as "discrete, objective, and unprocessed facts or observations."  As such, they are said to have no value whatsoever -- the data, not the practitioners -- because they lack context and interpretation.

Defined in terms of data, information is "organized or structured data" and therefore valuable and useful.

Defined in terms of information, knowledge is considered the "synthesis of multiple sources of information over time" which provides a "framework for evaluating and incorporating new experiences and information."

While actually understood by many, the trickiest concept to define is wisdom because it does not lend itself to easy, formulaic definition.  Not that practitioners don't try.  But when defining it in terms of knowledge and information, they claim wisdom is "integrated knowledge" or, more sophomorically put, "information made super-useful."  Some of these academicians also turn philosophical on you and introduce another concept that's also difficult to define: Because wisdom, they say, requires the mental function we call "judgment." 

For its definitional simplicity, I like the version put forward in 1987 by Czechoslovakia-born educator Milan Zeleny.  For him, the DIKW model really equates to know-nothing, know-what, know-how, and know-why.

Now, where am I going with this preamble in answering your question?

I was reminded of these concepts for two reasons: (1) because The Filipina is involved in this field; and (2) because I stumbled upon the answer to your question while browsing the online version of The Economist.  I've always been a fan of the magazine because the folks there are really great at turning data into information and information into knowledge.

So let's proceed to your question. 

Found below is a US map.  Can you find the Philippines?


Source: The Economist


If you easily spotted the Philippines where the Bluegrass State is commonly found, I say, "Good for you -- keen eyes!" 

And if you were disappointed in finding it there, I say, "I'm sorry -- and I am with you." 

Because the map, which depicts the size of the economies of the individual American states and how they compare with other countries, tells us -- aside from the obvious fact that the US is really an economic colossus -- some unfortunate truths.  Among them:

One: The Philippines has an economy almost the same size as that of Kentucky despite having a population roughly 20 times bigger.

Two: The Philippines' next-door ASEAN neighbor, Thailand, has an economy equivalent to that of Colorado (which is a state bigger by about $100 billion than Kentucky), despite having roughly 30 million fewer people.

These are not happy facts to face, but face them we must -- that is, if we want the country to aspire to some objective, achievable targets.  Like becoming another Colorado, for instance, by the end of P-Noy's term. 

The country can do so because Thailand has already shown the way.  Filipinos, at home and from all over, just have to help, especially the Filipino Americans, who have a collective "GDP" also bigger than the Philippines.

This brings me back to the DIKW Hierarchy. 

Who would have thought that the singer-musician Frank Zappa would actually expand the model? 

Yes, he did, as shown in the lyrics of his song, "Packard Goose":

Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST.

And this brings me to my concluding thoughts.

When I was in college, I was part of a group which performed a musical in front of audiences in the East Coast.  I've forgotten many of the details of that awesome period in my life, but I still cannot forget one memory.

After every performance, we would sing the song composed by Constancio de Guzman in 1929, Bayan Ko.  Without fail, many Filipinos in the audience would join and sing with us, and you could literally feel the emotions -- intense, raw, palpable, unstructured, tearful.  Unfortunately, I could tell many in the audience who didn't understand Tagalog could not quite grasp the significance of the song. 

So here's my parting gift to you to share with others as you feel necessary: The English version of the song as translated by the poet Ed Maranan. 




The beauty of his translation, which is incredibly faithful to the original language and its spirit, is that it can actually be sung following the same original melodic tune, the same music.  How cool is that?

Now, if Maranan's translation cannot be deemed wisdom, if it cannot be considered beauty, if it is not a manifestation of love of country, then I, for one, don't know the definition of these concepts anymore.

And pardon my preachiness, but for the Philippines to advance, you and I, and all the other Filipinos who care for even just one tiny bit about the country, really have to start showing it some love.

Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.

Are Chinese mothers really superior in raising kids?

Dear Filipino,

Hey, thanks for sharing with me that Wall Street Journal article about "why Chinese mothers are superior."  I'm torn about it because there are definitely merits to both "Western" and "Eastern" styles of parenting, and of course, there's a wide spectrum of sub-styles under each.  Personally, I just hope that we keep working and trying to be good parents so that our kids will grow up to be happy, healthy and successful individuals. 

But what about you -- what do you think of the article? 

The Filipina

Dear Ina Ng Aking Mga Anak,

I shared that with you because in all my years reading the Wall Street Journal online, I've never, ever seen an article which has garnered as much comments as it has in such a short period of time.  So I'm glad you found it thought-provoking.

(From WSJ.com: Amy Chua with her kids.)

But let's not overlook the obvious:  The author, Amy Chua, wrote that provocative title and big teaser of an article because she's looking to sell her latest book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother."  And despite the withering criticisms engendered by that article in the comments section, it definitely has some gems, especially because she seems to be successful at everything she does.  I mean, she's a Yale Law professor who writes books and spends that much time with her high-achieving kids too?

In any case, one thing I know is that it's really tough to be a parent.  It's particularly more difficult for me: I didn't grow up with a father because, as you know, he died when I was just a baby.  So, yeah, it's very difficult.  I mean, you're always wondering whether you're doing a good enough job for the kids, being there enough, preparing them well enough for life, shielding them enough, exposing them enough, letting them find their own selves enough, educating them enough, disciplining them enough, pushing them enough, hugging them enough, showing them we love them enough, etc.  And that's just for starters! 

So you're right: We can only try to do our best.  And I'm just actually thankful that you're there to serve as the Ilaw Ng Tahanan, among the many other things you do for our family. 

By the way, I think the following poem on parenting by Kahlil Gibran, the third best-selling poet of all time behind only Shakespeare and Lao Tzu, is instructive:

On Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. 

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.

NOTE:  This is still a developing story so I will be posting updates on this topic in the comments section.

Here's Prof. Chua in her appearance at The Today Show:

Q: How do you know you've achieved global immortality and rare celebrity status?
A: If you've had an animation clip made about you by Taiwan-based NMA.



Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.

The Filipina's Take
(15 January 2011)

After reading several articles that discussed the essay, I was left with a very ugly feeling about our very sensationalist American media which obviously put together controversial parts of a book in order to get increased readership by portraying a very explosive angle, regardless of how different it is from what the author originally intended.

The huge number of comments is obviously caused by so many factors. One thing I noticed though is that the most passionate comments came from females. Maybe some will say that women are catty by nature, but it’s obviously more than that. (Actually, without having to open her mouth or write, I’m sure Chua was already making a lot of women feel much less accomplished and small. After all, she’s a fit, good-looking working mom, an Ivy League graduate with a great career as a law professor, who writes books on the side and claims to spend a lot of time with her kids; now, she's also portrayed as having a “superior” parenting style, too?)

It's tough to be a woman in today's modern world.  As discussed in an academic paper entitled The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness, a study found that “[t]he increased opportunity to succeed in many dimensions [for women] have led to an increased likelihood of believing that one’s life is not measuring up.” In other words, women today are faced with ever-increasing pressure to do well across several fronts, which leads to additional stress and unhappiness. Whether intended or otherwise, Chua’s article, despite her subsequent disclaimers, actually makes things worse for some women because it now introduces a purported superior parenting standard that they somehow need to measure up to.

Without reading the book and just judging from the articles and blogs I read, I can say that Amy’s story actually shows the challenges of a parent who was raised with a different set of values ("Chinese") and was faced with the choice of embracing the values of another culture, i.e., those of the larger American society. And by writing about the stark differences of the two “competing” philosophies, Chua, through the article, may have inadvertently hit women belonging to several camps: the stay-at-home moms who now have to contend with another “role model” whom they feel they will inevitably be compared to; the working moms who already feel guilty that they are not doing enough by their kids or spending more time with them; the Asian women who hate their Asian mothers for subscribing to similarly strict parenting techniques; the permissive moms who are already tired of being lectured to for being unable to control their kids; and the other so-called Western moms who are now probably feeling some pressure to rethink their fundamental values. And with China having an economy growing blindingly fast and seemingly accomplishing modern feats which shame the US, Chua’s timing could not be worse for these women. It’s almost like being in a kindergarten playground with a kid sticking her tongue out saying, “See, you’re not good enough!”  It's almost not surprising that Chua is getting death threats!

Because each culture comes with its unique traits, passions, values and set of priorities, stereotypes are legion. But these stereotypes, by definition, are not entirely unfounded. Personally, I’ve seen Korean parents, known for being hard-nosed when it comes to academics, shuttle their children to after-school learning centers so that their kids can do extra assignments and stay ahead of the curve. I’ve witnessed a white suburban father, who, to many Asians, represents that baseball-obsessed Caucasian, yell at his 5-year-old in little league, calling the boy an ‘a--’ because the child appeared to have a very low attention span on the field.  I’ve seen African American parents, thinking of sports scholarships and pro careers for their kids, shuttle their pre-teens between basketball and football, as well as travel across the country to watch their sons play in tournaments. I’ve seen parents who choose to coach just so they can dictate the number of practices and have better control over picking the team rotation so their kids are paired with the better players. In other words, I’ve seen parents of different colors bend over backwards for their kids because they valued something which they wanted to impart to their children, hoping, like all parents do, for their children to get ahead of their competition.

I do see merit in being strict and teaching your children the value of hard work and perseverance. I also subscribe to the notion that there is no skill that cannot be learned over time; with enough practice, one born without talent can match someone with inborn talent.  And I don’t think it helps parents when we take our kids to, say, baseball and at the end of the season, all the kids get a trophy just for participating, ostensibly so that they don’t lose their morale. Whatever happened to giving trophies only to the most valuable player and certificates of participation to the rest?

As a parent, if you don’t teach your kids that it’s not good enough to get a B, what happens when they get their first job and realize that rating, ranking and pay are dependent on their performance?  Do you just sit back and encourage mediocrity and hope that they will always just fall in the middle of the pack? Or worse, see them come back home to you because they got fired for underperformance?  At that point, it’s already too late.

My point, of course, is that you can’t expect to do well without putting in any effort.  Of course, I don’t subscribe to the extreme techniques because I think that at some point you have to strike a balance. Of course, there’s room for creativity and allowing the children to explore other activities. After all, if you want to instill the passion for music, piano and violin are not the only instruments; if they were the only ‘right’ instruments and everybody only played them, none of us will ever enjoy the orchestra. If no one was allowed to go to school plays, none of us will enjoy West End or Broadway musicals.

In any case, being a mom is very difficult, period, and no matter what parenting technique you subscribe to, there will always be a criticism that you will find.  We all want the best for our kids and to a certain extent there is a tendency (knowingly and unknowingly) to mold them in our ‘own image and likeness’. In some cases, there is also the burden and hope that they can improve on our lot.  The fact that we bother reading about other people’s parenting styles indicates that the topic is important to us, at least enough to look at the debates out there, perhaps hoping to gain a nugget or two from them or get some validation that we are doing something right.

When I was pregnant with my first child, everyone and her grandma were quick to share their opinions about everything, and somehow the advice just never stopped coming, even well after the kids were born.  The best advice that I got was to listen to what the other person has to say, think about my personality and own unique ways, and then decide to use or discard the information received as necessary.  Because at the end of the day, decent parents will indeed do what they think is right to care for their kids' needs and equip them with the tools and skills they will need for the future.  Beyond this, parents can really only just hope that they will end up fortunate enough to have raised happy, healthy individuals who have a good sense of moral, ethical and social values.

Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.

Can The Filipino do The Filipina a humongous favor?

Dear Filipino,

I've been trying to call you and you are NOT answering!  Something came up here at work -- so can you please pick up the kids later? 

Thanks,
The Filipina

P.S.  And please pass by the grocery -- we've run out of Datu Puti vinegar and bagoong!

Dearest Miss Universe Ng Buhay Ko*,

Yes, of course!  Whatever you say, dear!  ;-)

Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.


*Miss Universe Ng Buhay Ko 
From the album: "Hotdog: Greatest Hits"
Translated by: The Filipino

Ikaw ang Miss Universe ng buhay ko 
     You are the Ms. Universe of my life
Ilang beses ko ba namang sasabihin sa 'yo  
     How many times do I have to tell you?
Sa piling mo, tanggal ang lumbay 
     In your bosom, away goes the gloom
May kasiyahang walang kapantay
     There is happiness that is unrivalled
 Ikaw ang miss universe ng buhay ko
     You are the Ms. Universe of my life

Ikaw ang miss universe ng buhay ko 
     You are the Ms. Universe of my life
Ilang beses ko ba namang sasabihin sa 'yo   
     How many times do I have to tell you?
Sakit ng ulo'y tanggal bigla
     Headaches immediately disappear
Sa piling mo'y lungkot nawawala 
     In your bosom, sadness departs
Ikaw ang miss universe ng buhay ko 
     You are the Ms. Universe of my life

Aanhin ko ang ganda ng iba 
     What will I do with others' beauty?
Maduduling lang ang aking mga mata, butas pa ang bulsa 
     My eyes will just get crossed, my pockets also torn
At 'di ba sabi ng mga matatanda 
     And didn't the elders say
Ingat lang tayong mga bata
     We the young just have to be careful
Kagandahan, tulad ng suwerte, mawawala 
     Beauty, like luck, will fade away

Ikaw ang miss universe ng buhay ko 
     You are the Ms. Universe of my life
Ilang beses ko ba namang uulitin sa 'yo? 
     How many times do I have to repeat it with you?
Malinaw na malinaw, ngayon at ano mang araw 
     It's very, very clear, today and any other day
Ikaw ang miss universe ng buhay ko 
     You are the Ms. Universe of my life
Ikaw ang miss universe ng buhay ko 
     You are the Ms. Universe of my life.

Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.