Feb 8, 2011

Is it okay to express condolences by just posting a note on the bereaved's Facebook wall?

Dear Filipino,

If one wants to express his condolences to a friend, the bereaved family member of someone who just tragically passed away, is it okay to just leave a note on the friend's Facebook wall?


Dear MuQ,

Hell, no!  And most especially NOT if the Facebook profile picture that will be showing right next to your message looks remotely like any of the following: (a) smiling; (b) laughing; (c) pouting; (d) ridiculous-looking; (e) in love; (f) a cartoon character; (g) a comedian; (h) a pet; (i) a stupid quote; (j) a vacation picture; (k) any food; (1) any drink; (m) a sexy actress/actor; (n) a teen heartthrob; (o) a movie character...

The list goes on and on and on.  You get the drift?  You get the logic?

Got a question for The Filipino?  Email him now at askthepinoy@gmail.com.


AJ said...

I say it depends. If someone announces the death of their loved one on Facebook, then I suppose they expect messages of condolences posted on their walls. Wouldn't it be awkward if no one posts a comment?

Words of comfort on FB would suffice for casual FB friends. Close friends and relatives of the bereaved though are still expected to show up at the wake, despite having posted their condolences initially on FB. Others feel it's more appropriate to send a PM on FB or call on the phone.

My point is that an FB message of condolences is better than nothing. Take it from someone who lost a parent recently.

The Filipino said...


You made very good points. I guess it just seemed really weird (and kinda funny too actually) seeing messages of condolences from people whose pics did not really match the seriousness of the messages (assuming they were sincere of course).

Unknown said...

Like AJ said that depends, if he announces his loss on FB, it's fine. And if his contacts/friends can't come to the wake or to see him personally because of distance, it's fine. It's better than nothing----as AJ said.
The pics you're saying are their profile pics and profile pics are sometimes replaced whenever they want to ---sometimes they don't change it at all. Some people prefer to change whenever they have a new pic uploaded. Or maybe because they'e either too sad and troubled to change their profile pics hence those "not srious" pics. Or because they don't want their pics to look so depressing just because they're grieving.

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